Food Buzz

Because maybe you do care what I had for lunch...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Fan mail

Dear Ms. Velez,

Re: your comments comparing me to Henry VIII, I was married to one of my wives for over 30 years and it was an extremely painful split. And it's ever so American of you to mock my title, the US being the land of pretending-we're-all-equal. Bah! And gelatin? I don't even know what to say.

Sir Terence Conran

Ms. Velez,

As the solicitor for Ms. Nigella Lawson I am requesting that you desist from publishing my client's likeness on your blog. Ms. Lawson does not wish to have her image or name associated with the likes of pineapple pad Thai or people who cannot spell.

Rupert Oxley-St. John, Esq.

PS: You don't want to hear from Charles Saatchi's solicitor...

My dear, dear, Adriana,

Take that, Annie? Did you not see my picture in Vanity Fair? You know, the page after the one with LEONARDO DI CAPRIO? Yeah. I'm a famous do-gooder entrepreneur. And you are? Let's see, I'm flipping through Vanity Fair, not here, not here. Oh yes, you're nobody. Try finding a way to feed all the children of our nation's Democrats and then let's talk about you "taking" me.

Annie Withey

PS: My hair looks great, doesn't it?

Dear Measly Earthling,

I am usually purple. And my brow-nose-thing extends a little over my mouth.



shaunamama said...

Great photo, AV.
I can't believe even Zurg got snippy. He has nothing to complain about...the cake was a wonderful likeness. Want to attempt Spidey for me? (I'm chickening out and buying one.)

Luisa Perkins said...

They're all just jealous. Especially Nigella and her solicitor.

Can't wait to try the Pad Thai...

Kate said...

I love the pic too, Ace.

And looks like you've got plenty of fans here. Pppbbbbbt.

Swizzies said...

Hee hee...great post, A. I love your voice and humour. That's a cutie-pie pic of you, too.