So yesterday I had a really fun conference call. One participant had just arrived from a stressful, disastrous meeting with a client. Another participant had just had an eye exam and was still somewhat disoriented with blurred vision. I was calling from home, where I was taking care of my poor, sick son. Everyone else was in an office in Manhattan talking on speakerphone, which was very difficult to hear. And every few minutes I had to put the phone down in order to hold a bowl with one hand and Jasper's hair back with the other while he vomited.
I would love to personally strangle the person who coined this word, "multi-tasking." There is no multi-tasking. There is just some frazzled mom stepping in and out of worlds, focusing one moment on a sick child and the next moment on a the visual identity for a conference, worrying that she's not giving sufficient attention to either.
In the meantime, Lane arrived with the Pedialyte pops I had asked him to buy. Jasper is an unnaturally healthy child who never gets sick, has never had a fever above 100 degrees, so I am never prepared for illness. I'm just lucky Lane works a bike ride away and has the flexibility to make a shopping trip for me.
I fed Jasper the Pedialyte and he continued to vomit. I was in a panic by the end of the day because Jasper couldn't keep anything down and I was worried that he was getting dangerously dehydrated. I had put in a call to his pediatrician hours ago; she finally called me back by the end of the day and told me to give him only tiny amounts of fluids every 10 minutes. Apparently larger amounts stretch the stomach, and that's what triggers vomiting.
Why didn't I know this already? I could have saved him from a lot of vomiting hours ago. And if I'd had the good sense to call my mother instead of the pediatrician (I was thinking like a New Yorker, I guess) she probably would have told me the same thing.
Anyway, it was one of those days when I felt like an impostor--with the conference call, as Jasper's mother. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but somehow I keep hoping that if I show up I'll get enough of this right and we'll all survive somehow. Is that enough? If I try to be as engaged and in-the-moment as possible, will it all be okay? I hope so.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Posted by Adriana Velez at 10:15 AM